MR. JUDGMENTAL: As a judge, we are nothing if not fair. Honorable and fair. Our record is unassailable, unimpeachable, impeccable. Except for the part about our biases and preconceived notions. We're as human as the next fellow.
The gavel came down on our most recent judicial robe-wearing caper on Saturday at the Summer And Music's Battle of the Tribute Bands at downtown's Rainbow Harbor Amphitheater, a darned pleasant afternoon of famous-sounding rock and roll fairly bursting with verisimilitude.
Some of the bands being given the sincerest form of flattery at the free outdoor event were ones we like: the Stones (as played by tributers Satisfaction), Springsteen & the E Street Band (The Rising), Pearl Jam (Vitalogy); a couple we're OK with: U2 (Hollywood U2), Dave Matthews (Stepping Feet), the Cure (The Cured) and one we're not wild about: No Doubt (No Duh).
We imagined that that would be pretty much the order in which we'd enjoy the tribute bands. Turns out we've never been so wrong.
No Duh, led by the electrifyingly vivacious Heather Lounsbury, scored a Nadia Comaneci-esque [the 1st gymnist to score a perfect 10] number on this solomonic arbiter's scorecard, surprising no one as much as our ownself.
Lounsbury's ultrablondie looks and terrifying pipes make the real Gwen Stefani look like a cheesy Reno lounge celebrity look-alike who you wouldn't pay 20 bucks to play your kid's bat mitzvah. We couldn't give high enough points to the band.
No Duh was also the fans' favorite, scoring top marks on the applause-o-meter, earning the band $2,600.
Coming in a clear second on our ballot as well as in the crowd's response, was Vitalogy's tribute to Pearl Jam, again led by a lead vocalist, this time an appropriately grunge-attired Aaron Saffa, who has the mannerisms and facial effects - and sounds identical to - the real thing's Eddie Vedder. Guitarist Eddie Lucero does a mean Mike McReady, as well.
Vitalogy finished just one vote and a decibel ahead of third-placers, Hollywood U2, a terrifically faithful tributers with Joe Hier doing a perfect Bono and Bart Davis turning in a flawless poker-faced The Edge.
Vitalogy and Hollywood U2 took home $750 and $300.
As for the rest, well, The Cured didn't bother us too much; Stepping Feet was a little sloggy; Satisfaction sounded less like the Rolling Stones than we do when we're hollering at the dog (though we enjoyed seeing ol' Billy Blaze on the drum kit); and The Rising's Bruce Springsteen was ... well, not everyone's cut out to be the Boss....